I No Longer Chase The Idea Of Getting Married

As a child I dream of walking that aisle and marrying my prince one day and we will live happily ever after. From the idea of romance to love as evident as highschool made me think, I needed one. Until I met someone during college days. I met him as a blind date and it turned out well that lead on months and years. Our life as a couple is the same as you can see much these days. We dreamed our life together and formulate ideas and goal. We even talk about having children and where we would live. Till we talk about our wedding date and things to be in our wedding. I use to attend bridal seminars and bridal fair. I even created a board on my motiff and what my wedding dress and groom would wear. You could say in details. I probably would be " hands on bride" from music to the guest list everything was ready. It was easy to plan a wedding. But the most painful part is that we can dream a thousand plans only to realized that none of those dreams will materialized.

I know in the process of preparing my wedding. I just realized that I was inlove in the idea of just getting married. Time and unplanned changes made me realized that getting married was not for me at least till it chooses me. I guess I was the only one excited about the idea and no one was their to finance it. Because of our dream we worked hard for it as a couple. Only to realized that no matter how we try. Our lives has a different plan than my plan with him. I left him and it was painful to bear but i was able to pull myself back all by myself.

When he and I broke up I suddenly realized that in a relationship love is not enough. There are times when respect, loyalty and trust is most needed. Loving a person is not enough to be the reason of marriage.  I realized that loving yourself more is important. Our difference made us decide to stop our relationship. I guess in the excitedness of the idea of preparing for a wedding. All along I was the only one who wanted it than him. It broke me to realized that I was the only one setting up my my own wedding to myself.

Today I no longer care about new fashion trends in weddings. And i never added details on my wedding dream board. I do not know when I will be married. All I know is that I no longer chase getting married atleast for now. I dont want to set up my own wedding and marry myself alone anymore.